i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
