You're so nebulous sometimes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
