Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
