Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
