apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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