i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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