fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
