he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
