and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
