I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
