If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
