now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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