I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
