just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
