my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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