you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
