i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
