I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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