Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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