woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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