I think i peed on brittanys purse
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You are a genius and a whore.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
