Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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