its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
