I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
