Screwed.edu
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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