After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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