even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
