i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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