No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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