Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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