i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
