my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
