That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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