so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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