Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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