My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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