You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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