we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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