I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
