that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
