trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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