Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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