I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
