i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
