i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
