so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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