I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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