if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
