Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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