Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
